Easel

Hope-full song of a hopeless guy….cause just maybe…..I just haven’t met you yet…I might have to wait I’ll never give up….

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Haven’t Met You Yet lyrics

Micheal Bubble

I’m not surprised,
Not everything lasts,
I’ve broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in,
I talk myself out,
I get all worked up,
Then I let myself down,

I tried so very hard not to lose it;
I came up with a million excuses,
I thought I thought of every possibility,

And I know some day that it’ll all turn out,
You’ll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And I promise you kid that I give so much more than I get~ mmm…….
I just haven’t met you yet.

Mmmmm ….

I might have to wait,
I’ll never give up,
I guess it’s half timin’, and the other half’s luck,
Wherever you are,
Whenever it’s right,
You’ll come outta nowhere and into my life.

And I know that we can be so amazin’,
And baby your love is gonna change me,
And now I can see every possibility, mmmmmm….

Somehow I know that it’ll all turn out,
You’ll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And promise you kid, I’ll give so much more than I get, mmmm….
I just haven’t met you yet.

They say all’s fair
in love and war
But I won’t need to fight it,
we’ll get it right an’,
we’ll be united

Instrumental

and I know that we can be so amazin’,
And bein’ in your life is gonna change me,
And now I can see every single possibility, mmmmmm

And someday I know it’ll all turn out,
And I’ll work to work it out,
Promise you kid I’ll give more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get.

Oh, you know it’ll all turn out,
and you’ll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And promise you kid to give so much more than I get, yeah
I just haven’t met you yet.

I just haven’t met you yet,
Oh, promise you kid,
To give so much more than I get.

I said love love love love love love love…..
I just haven’t met you yet
Love love love …..
So doy day ay ay ay, ay ay yeah
I just haven’t met you yet!

As I expected, the day like today is imminent. I am fighting a losing battle. Like I always do, again today, I will need to let go again. Like Shakespeare said, “Love someone let her go”. Subconsciously, I always did that.

I never been so attached to someone so close (since school). Just enough to know what’s her favorite color, what she can drink and what can’t, what she likes to do, what she loves to do, what she hates, her childhood stories, her clothes, her shoes, her fear, and all other things those I can’t possibly remember consciously.

And today, I vowed, all those things I will put behind and let go. I have done this countless time before. I should have no problem doing this again.

As for today, things have already get complicated enough (at least for me in my heart alone). Never have I planned to get this involved in her. For I never wanted her to be more than just a (good) friend. But if only I can live with rational alone.

Looking at the bright side, throughout these “letting go” series, I have at least learn a lot of what should I do and what not to do. ‘Coz when people get excited, they prone to mistakes and so do I.

I deleted my facebook account, and….after (excruciating) 2 weeks it will gone for good.

I have seen through her and I realized, this is never about me. I don’t know how long would it takes to make me worthy of her Love (practically never). After all I am a practical person. Impossible means impossible. There’s no fuzzy logic involved here. Just simple binary operation where the answer is either “TRUE” or “FALSE”, “YES” or “NO”.

Again, looking at the bright side, at least she taught me to be happy again.

Thanks and Happy Birthday!!!. and……bye…..I’m leaving for your “imaginary Ulu Baram”.

Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.

Hamlet, Act II, scene ii

To be, or not to be, — that is the question: —

Hamlet, Act III, scene i

to start is hard
to persist is harder
to end is the hardest

I went to a place I never been
a situation I never imagine
seeing faces I never seen
learning with full of keen

but am I too late?
playing with heaven and fate
accepting what’re written and said
hoping what I give is what I get

if only I were the first to come
holding your hand then and times to come
if only that has never gone
you’ll be safely in my arm

a little too much for me to ask
to say this truthfully I must
me and my heart is now steadfast
to love and to have you in the last

Everything that I want to do, I will always considering in my mind to do it with you. You are the only person that I can think of that… I will be happy to do with. The only person that I can have my genuine smile. But …. I still want to do everything everytime with you. If and only if I can….so far…I have done most of things I want to do in my life with you. But….still….I want to do more things with you….

The more I want to avoid thinking of it, the more I will think of it. And when I start thinking of it, I stuck. I won’t be able to do my job. I start blogging.

Why should I be jealous when I shouldn’t be? Why can’t I just tell my heart what to feel? Tell my mind what to think and what not.

What is this journey going to teach me this time? Everyday is a lesson. It’s just I am willing to except the truth behind the lesson or not.

All my life I have been a loser….why should I give up this time…or deep in my fabric of nature…I am a winner. A winner that lose too much.

Now I want to win something in my life. The chances are slim…or actually don’t even exist. But I don’t take chances…I just try. By myself and do what I always do.

Seriously….If love has never been my friend…and friend will never be my love….why should I bother?

Not surrounded by thousands armies
Not a castle without a moat
Not a city under a siege
Not a war without a thought

An unknown waiting of unknown end
intangible battle untouchable by hand
not of courage not of its wane
not a fight of disputed land

It is of heart and its dwelling
It is of mind’s desires of controlling
All the strength to hold them back
Struggle to keep sanity intact

To know the foe is to know myself
salvaging all the pride that left
Abate damages just to feel safe
This unrequited love is all I have

Excerp from “How to forget someone you love“…

1. Keep yourself busy with work that pays. Money, magically could cure your broken heart.
2. Do outdoor activities such as exercising and sports. Doing something that exhaust your body can get you off your mind and broken heart.
3. Find a heavy or a busy hobby like traveling or hobbies that involves a lot of thinking like making puzzles or writing theater scripts.
4. Hang around with your good friends a lot having fun doing what you like with them.

Reaction :

1. Keep busy?…..urm I am working right now and thank God that works are piling on my table
2. Outdoor? ….Not really my type but….I just don’t know how to do outdoor activities.
3. Heavy or busy hobby? ……traveling? Puzzles? Theater scripts? Programming perhaps….that would take most of my concentration….or some computer wrecking and fixing…that would take a lot of time….
4. Hang around with your good friends? Ermmm….quite impossible…I have only 1 dimension friends. I have no more friend to hang around with…

Conclusion :

1. Patheticological Disease !!!

How to forget someone you love

Sometime the rhythm of this song rings in my ears…

I THINK I
– BYUL (ENGLISH VERSION)
From FULL HOUSE OST
Credits: AsiaFinest

I refused to believe that it could be so,
there’s no way that I’m in love with you,
I lied to myself that it’s just a petty jealousy,
that I must be feeling lonely, but I cannot hide it anymore.

I think I love you
But it must be so, Cause I miss you
without you,
I cannot do anything,
and you are always on my mind,
so seeing this, it must be,
I was unaware,
but now I can see that
your presence have delved deeply into my heart.

We are not meant for each other, and being friends is the best thing for us,
there isn’t a single thing we have in common,
so I claimed there’s no way we can be lovers,
but I don’t want to make excuses anymore.

I think I love you
But it must be so, Cause I miss you
without you,
I cannot do anything,
and you are always on my mind,
so seeing this, it must be,
I was unaware,
but now I can see that
your presence have delved deeply into my heart.

why didn’t I know that it was you,
why couldn’t I see it when it was right in front of me,
it was beside me all along,
but only now can I see love.

I think I love you
But it must be so, Cause I miss you
without you,
I cannot do anything,
and you are always on my mind,
so seeing this, it must be,
I was unaware,
but now I can see that
your presence have delved deeply into my heart.