Love's Lair

It’s Friday morning. I “relatively” woke late today. I tried to do something different today. I had my breakfast which I never had for a long time. I had fried rice eggs and sausage. Erm as usual I eat alone.

So I think and think (and think) what should I blog about today. Out of nowhere I start reminiscing about the past. I was someone that sick occasionally. At least I will get sick once  a year. I mean for whatever reason.

There were specifically twice I had the most “memorable” sickness. Those are the two worst that I ever had. Here is the second one.

This was during Form 5.

I was living as normal as anybody could ever live. I eat on time. I did breakfast. I slept like any student would have. I went to classes. I do sport sometimes. I do everything a nerd boy would ever do. However, I could not possibly imagine how I got my gastric problem.

I never know what it felt to have a gastric problem so when I felt stomach ache I just assume that it’s nothing. So I just let it persist for a very long time before it become unbearably painful. For a month I suffer so much painful. Every hour for a month I suffer the sharp feeling of well known Gastric pain.

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When I was in Kolej (KTDTHB), this song was really popular. It was like on everybody’s lips. The rhythm was just everywhere to find. However I myself have not really read the lyric or the words in the song. One of the reason was because my english wasn’t really good.

Recently I double clicked the mp3 in my laptop and listen to the song. Then, suddenly it touches me. I understood the meaning. I understood what the song try to convey to me as listener. Moreover I am eager to find something meaningful for me on the meantime. Every words seem so meaningful suddenly.

I am looking for that something. How about you?

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Everybody’s looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You’ll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be

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The air was thick and cold that night but just nice not freezing. Just like every night. Most of peoples were already sleeping, it was late. However, I was still outside under the shelter of the moon and the stars. It was not my average night, it was something meaningful for me.

She dressed under her night gown. Simply pleasant to the eyes. Her face was fair and ornamented with little smiles every now and then.

My chest was racing, I wanted to tell her something that I’ve been keeping to myself alone for a long time. I knew after those words were uttered, we won’t be able to talk like this again. I have expected everything before they happen. But regret isn’t a fond brother to me.

Why is it so hard to say something so short and simple. I always asked myself. I always laugh hard watching characters in drama, anime or movies try to utter those simple words. In the real world it is pretty much the same, not really.

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