Dear Diary….

Dear Diary…..

I can’t help thinking and thinking about it again every time I started to write blog posts again, am I writing a blog post or a diary entry?

I write those posts openly without revealing too much details. Actually to the point of none other than myself could understand anything. This is to avoid diary-like post. Anybody can find my blog if they want and I don’t want people to know too much about me too easily. Not without cracking their head try to understand my blog.(If ever in this entire world anybody interested in a person like me.)

I wrote personal things though…but in extreme cryptic manner. I want people to read and at the same time hoping none will find my blog. Funny…so what’s the reason of writing a blog.

To think of it…it’s just for the sake of proving of my existence. If ever one day I lost all physical evidence….at least this virtual evidence still there to remind me of myself. But still I need to pay for the yearly hosting and domain name. In the end they all will perish and lost.

To think of it again…I start to write every time I am/felt alone again. When I am not alone I stop writing. Clearly indication of loneliness.

I am thinking too much, Yes…I just can’t help it.

All of my very close friends are now not here. They are away. Some of potentially close friends ditched me miserably… I have a lot of so called “close” friend but…they are soooo far away….Can’t be considered close friend…best friends maybe…

In the nutshell, I am alone. And I start resort to writing blog posts.

And…..I must distract myself…I must not resort to text or call people and start bringing them down into my miserable life. When I start doing that….more friends will ditched me miserably again….Huhu….Although all over my heart I miss them so much….