I am restless and I can’t sleep

June 19, 2008 in Sleepless Nights | 27 comments

For some reason I am really really restless and I certainly can’t sleep. If it’s you what would you do?

So I pack my laptop and took it to internet room downstairs. Maybe the internet addiction has returned.

I felt all kinds of feelings. Mixed and confused. I felt guilt and anxiety. Fear of unknown.

I can’t do a thing. Voices in my head. Voices of my mum, my friends, my brother, and my own voice. I just can’t stop thinking about what they were saying. I am haunted by them.

Running away from what I should be doing. Just lying to myself. I am so afraid. I want to cry. But no tears would come out.

Am I delusional? Am i going crazy? Maybe I am merely lonely. I need something to live for. I need a reason. I really need it.

I just can’t found it where. Looking in vain. Keep on looking with only despair at hand.

Shouting in silence.

  1. Lynnwei’s avatar

    Lynnwei on June 19, 2008 at 5:07 am

    oo..what hapened!? calm down…drink chamomile tea! it’s good for calming..

    Reply

    elvinado’s avatar

    elvinado reply on June 19th, 2008 2:35 pm:

    Thanks Lynnwei…I’ll try to find it…BTW your gravatar is working fine and nice.

    Reply

  2. cibol’s avatar

    cibol on June 19, 2008 at 8:19 am

    you make it sound so teruk eh .. ha ha ha. cheer up dude. not getting friends offline? u’ll always have people online .. people that you know and people that u don’t … it’s all the same

    Reply

    elvinado’s avatar

    elvinado reply on June 19th, 2008 2:34 pm:

    I also got no Idea

    Reply

  3. Affuan’s avatar

    Affuan on June 19, 2008 at 8:40 am

    Hey, give yourself a time out. That should solve the problem. :)

    Reply

    elvinado’s avatar

    elvinado reply on June 19th, 2008 2:34 pm:

    Thanks

    Reply

  4. lola’s avatar

    lola on June 19, 2008 at 7:01 pm

    go out and have fun!

    there r several good movies to watch at the moment. :D

    Reply

    elvinado’s avatar

    elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 9:18 am:

    I watched Saving Private Ryan, Pathology and Return to the King recently…but not in cinema just in my own room…huhu

    Reply

  5. iRina’s avatar

    iRina on June 19, 2008 at 8:48 pm

    hello alvin!! sorry for not visiting earlier.. my internet connection is restricted nowadays. haha.. didn’t have internet at where I was working.

    anyway, cheer up ok.. life always has its up and down, and when you’re feeling really down, try to talk to others. share your problems, coz it might lessen the burden.

    =)

    all d best, okay!

    Reply

    elvinado’s avatar

    elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 9:19 am:

    Thanks for the effort…
    I am talking to my blog…you all…huhu

    Reply

  6. Lily’s avatar

    Lily on June 19, 2008 at 10:39 pm

    tido la .. kang x cukup tido . .payah lak tau

    Reply

    elvinado’s avatar

    elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 9:19 am:

    Hehe kalau siang je mula la tido je kerja.

    Reply

  7. nono’s avatar

    nono on June 20, 2008 at 2:06 am

    haunted by family member voices?

    Reply

    elvinado’s avatar

    elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 9:20 am:

    Yes indeed.

    Reply

    nono’s avatar

    nono reply on June 21st, 2008 2:17 pm:

    sebabb?

    Reply

    elvinado’s avatar

    elvinado reply on June 22nd, 2008 1:50 am:

    Sebab…malas ku mok bercerita

    Reply

  8. ak’s avatar

    ak on June 20, 2008 at 7:56 am

    dont worry yaar…

    Reply

  9. ak’s avatar

    ak on June 20, 2008 at 7:57 am

    check out my link too…

    Reply

    elvinado’s avatar

    elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 9:20 am:

    Yeah ak. I will do so later…

    Reply

  10. bongkersz’s avatar

    bongkersz on June 20, 2008 at 11:23 am

    yor.. what’s up dude? why restless? confused, anxiety and guilt? go do something.. read, run, find somebody to talk. it helps. talking to ’something’, someone make you feel better. :)

    Reply

    elvinado’s avatar

    elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 11:48 am:

    I will…thanks.

    Reply

  11. drumsticks’s avatar

    drumsticks on June 20, 2008 at 7:35 pm

    hey, hmm.. sounds like something bad bothering you.. maybe you can write about it if you can’t find someone to talk to..

    Reply

    elvinado’s avatar

    elvinado reply on June 21st, 2008 1:42 am:

    Nothing much about it…it’s ok…thanks

    Reply

  12. Hanep’s avatar

    Hanep on June 22, 2008 at 8:03 am

    dengar macam u need aweks… ;p

    Reply

    elvinado’s avatar

    elvinado reply on June 22nd, 2008 9:12 pm:

    Mungkin…hehe

    Reply

  13. bengbeng’s avatar

    bengbeng on June 22, 2008 at 11:41 am

    wat i do is put pressure on my forehead middle section using a pillow it turns me out …to sleep i mean. try it ( another useless bb suggestion :) but it works for me. apparently wrestlers use some sort of similar hold too

    Reply

    elvinado’s avatar

    elvinado reply on June 22nd, 2008 9:13 pm:

    I’ll certainly try it out

    Reply