For some reason I am really really restless and I certainly can’t sleep. If it’s you what would you do?
So I pack my laptop and took it to internet room downstairs. Maybe the internet addiction has returned.
I felt all kinds of feelings. Mixed and confused. I felt guilt and anxiety. Fear of unknown.
I can’t do a thing. Voices in my head. Voices of my mum, my friends, my brother, and my own voice. I just can’t stop thinking about what they were saying. I am haunted by them.
Running away from what I should be doing. Just lying to myself. I am so afraid. I want to cry. But no tears would come out.
Am I delusional? Am i going crazy? Maybe I am merely lonely. I need something to live for. I need a reason. I really need it.
I just can’t found it where. Looking in vain. Keep on looking with only despair at hand.
Shouting in silence.

27 comments
Comments feed for this article
Trackback link
http://alvinalexander.net/2008/06/19/i-am-restless-and-i-cant-sleep/trackback/
June 19, 2008 at 5:07 am
Lynnwei
oo..what hapened!? calm down…drink chamomile tea! it’s good for calming..
[Reply]
elvinado reply on June 19th, 2008 2:35 pm:
Thanks Lynnwei…I’ll try to find it…BTW your gravatar is working fine and nice.
[Reply]
June 19, 2008 at 8:19 am
cibol
you make it sound so teruk eh .. ha ha ha. cheer up dude. not getting friends offline? u’ll always have people online .. people that you know and people that u don’t … it’s all the same
[Reply]
elvinado reply on June 19th, 2008 2:34 pm:
I also got no Idea
[Reply]
June 19, 2008 at 8:40 am
Affuan
Hey, give yourself a time out. That should solve the problem.
[Reply]
elvinado reply on June 19th, 2008 2:34 pm:
Thanks
[Reply]
June 19, 2008 at 7:01 pm
lola
go out and have fun!
there r several good movies to watch at the moment.
[Reply]
elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 9:18 am:
I watched Saving Private Ryan, Pathology and Return to the King recently…but not in cinema just in my own room…huhu
[Reply]
June 19, 2008 at 8:48 pm
iRina
hello alvin!! sorry for not visiting earlier.. my internet connection is restricted nowadays. haha.. didn’t have internet at where I was working.
anyway, cheer up ok.. life always has its up and down, and when you’re feeling really down, try to talk to others. share your problems, coz it might lessen the burden.
=)
all d best, okay!
[Reply]
elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 9:19 am:
Thanks for the effort…
I am talking to my blog…you all…huhu
[Reply]
June 19, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Lily
tido la .. kang x cukup tido . .payah lak tau
[Reply]
elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 9:19 am:
Hehe kalau siang je mula la tido je kerja.
[Reply]
June 20, 2008 at 2:06 am
nono
haunted by family member voices?
[Reply]
elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 9:20 am:
Yes indeed.
[Reply]
nono reply on June 21st, 2008 2:17 pm:
sebabb?
[Reply]
elvinado reply on June 22nd, 2008 1:50 am:
Sebab…malas ku mok bercerita
[Reply]
June 20, 2008 at 7:56 am
ak
dont worry yaar…
[Reply]
June 20, 2008 at 7:57 am
ak
check out my link too…
[Reply]
elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 9:20 am:
Yeah ak. I will do so later…
[Reply]
June 20, 2008 at 11:23 am
bongkersz
yor.. what’s up dude? why restless? confused, anxiety and guilt? go do something.. read, run, find somebody to talk. it helps. talking to ’something’, someone make you feel better.
[Reply]
elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 11:48 am:
I will…thanks.
[Reply]
June 20, 2008 at 7:35 pm
drumsticks
hey, hmm.. sounds like something bad bothering you.. maybe you can write about it if you can’t find someone to talk to..
[Reply]
elvinado reply on June 21st, 2008 1:42 am:
Nothing much about it…it’s ok…thanks
[Reply]
June 22, 2008 at 8:03 am
Hanep
dengar macam u need aweks… ;p
[Reply]
elvinado reply on June 22nd, 2008 9:12 pm:
Mungkin…hehe
[Reply]
June 22, 2008 at 11:41 am
bengbeng
wat i do is put pressure on my forehead middle section using a pillow it turns me out …to sleep i mean. try it ( another useless bb suggestion
but it works for me. apparently wrestlers use some sort of similar hold too
[Reply]
elvinado reply on June 22nd, 2008 9:13 pm:
I’ll certainly try it out
[Reply]