I am restless and I can’t sleep

June 19, 2008 in Sleepless Nights | 27 comments

For some reason I am really really restless and I certainly can’t sleep. If it’s you what would you do?

So I pack my laptop and took it to internet room downstairs. Maybe the internet addiction has returned.

I felt all kinds of feelings. Mixed and confused. I felt guilt and anxiety. Fear of unknown.

I can’t do a thing. Voices in my head. Voices of my mum, my friends, my brother, and my own voice. I just can’t stop thinking about what they were saying. I am haunted by them.

Running away from what I should be doing. Just lying to myself. I am so afraid. I want to cry. But no tears would come out.

Am I delusional? Am i going crazy? Maybe I am merely lonely. I need something to live for. I need a reason. I really need it.

I just can’t found it where. Looking in vain. Keep on looking with only despair at hand.

Shouting in silence.

27 comments

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June 19, 2008 at 5:07 am

Lynnwei

Lynnwei’s avatar

oo..what hapened!? calm down…drink chamomile tea! it’s good for calming..

[Reply]

elvinado’s avatar

elvinado reply on June 19th, 2008 2:35 pm:

Thanks Lynnwei…I’ll try to find it…BTW your gravatar is working fine and nice.

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June 19, 2008 at 8:19 am

cibol

cibol’s avatar

you make it sound so teruk eh .. ha ha ha. cheer up dude. not getting friends offline? u’ll always have people online .. people that you know and people that u don’t … it’s all the same

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elvinado’s avatar

elvinado reply on June 19th, 2008 2:34 pm:

I also got no Idea

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June 19, 2008 at 8:40 am

Affuan

Affuan’s avatar

Hey, give yourself a time out. That should solve the problem. :)

[Reply]

elvinado’s avatar

elvinado reply on June 19th, 2008 2:34 pm:

Thanks

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June 19, 2008 at 7:01 pm

lola

lola’s avatar

go out and have fun!

there r several good movies to watch at the moment. :D

[Reply]

elvinado’s avatar

elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 9:18 am:

I watched Saving Private Ryan, Pathology and Return to the King recently…but not in cinema just in my own room…huhu

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June 19, 2008 at 8:48 pm

iRina

iRina’s avatar

hello alvin!! sorry for not visiting earlier.. my internet connection is restricted nowadays. haha.. didn’t have internet at where I was working.

anyway, cheer up ok.. life always has its up and down, and when you’re feeling really down, try to talk to others. share your problems, coz it might lessen the burden.

=)

all d best, okay!

[Reply]

elvinado’s avatar

elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 9:19 am:

Thanks for the effort…
I am talking to my blog…you all…huhu

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June 19, 2008 at 10:39 pm

Lily

Lily’s avatar

tido la .. kang x cukup tido . .payah lak tau

[Reply]

elvinado’s avatar

elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 9:19 am:

Hehe kalau siang je mula la tido je kerja.

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June 20, 2008 at 2:06 am

nono

nono’s avatar

haunted by family member voices?

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elvinado’s avatar

elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 9:20 am:

Yes indeed.

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nono’s avatar

nono reply on June 21st, 2008 2:17 pm:

sebabb?

[Reply]

elvinado’s avatar

elvinado reply on June 22nd, 2008 1:50 am:

Sebab…malas ku mok bercerita

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June 20, 2008 at 7:56 am

ak

ak’s avatar

dont worry yaar…

[Reply]

June 20, 2008 at 7:57 am

ak

ak’s avatar

check out my link too…

[Reply]

elvinado’s avatar

elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 9:20 am:

Yeah ak. I will do so later…

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June 20, 2008 at 11:23 am

bongkersz

bongkersz’s avatar

yor.. what’s up dude? why restless? confused, anxiety and guilt? go do something.. read, run, find somebody to talk. it helps. talking to ’something’, someone make you feel better. :)

[Reply]

elvinado’s avatar

elvinado reply on June 20th, 2008 11:48 am:

I will…thanks.

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June 20, 2008 at 7:35 pm

drumsticks

drumsticks’s avatar

hey, hmm.. sounds like something bad bothering you.. maybe you can write about it if you can’t find someone to talk to..

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elvinado’s avatar

elvinado reply on June 21st, 2008 1:42 am:

Nothing much about it…it’s ok…thanks

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June 22, 2008 at 8:03 am

Hanep

Hanep’s avatar

dengar macam u need aweks… ;p

[Reply]

elvinado’s avatar

elvinado reply on June 22nd, 2008 9:12 pm:

Mungkin…hehe

[Reply]

June 22, 2008 at 11:41 am

bengbeng

bengbeng’s avatar

wat i do is put pressure on my forehead middle section using a pillow it turns me out …to sleep i mean. try it ( another useless bb suggestion :) but it works for me. apparently wrestlers use some sort of similar hold too

[Reply]

elvinado’s avatar

elvinado reply on June 22nd, 2008 9:13 pm:

I’ll certainly try it out

[Reply]